Ryou Bakura, Film Maker
by Drake Clawfang
Summary: Based on the movie 'Bowfinger'. Ryou Bakura, Hollywood's lowest director, sets out to film a blockbuster film starring Yami Muto, Hollywood's biggest star. But Yami throws him out. So what does Bakura do? Why, trick Yami into filming, of course!
1. One Last Shot

Ryou Bakura- Film Maker

Chapter 1

One Last Shot

It was late evening in Hollywood. On a tiny little street in the suburbs, there lay a small little house. Inside that little house, the telephone rang for the 4th time. The man who lived there, Ryou Bakura, was home. But Bakura was busy with his feet propped up on his desk, reading a hastily stapled set of pages. The telephone rang again, and the answering machine picked.

_"You've reached Ryou Bakura, President of Bakura Films. Leave a message."_ Bakura Films was the filming company Bakura ran. He ran it by himself, financed it himself, and the company had never made a film. In other words, the company pretty much existed in Bakura's own mind.

_"Mr. Bakura, this is Underwood. You've still got those debts to pay off from the Super Bowl. Get the money within a month, or I'm coming for a visit." _The caller threatened. Bakura didn't hear, even as the phone rang again. He whistled lowly and lowered the pages in his hand.

"Great script…" He muttered. "My god…he wrote an incredible script." Bakura pumped his fist and looked down at his feet. His loyal golden retriever Rochelle lay snoozing at his feet. Bakura patted the dog on the head, waking it up. Rochelle yawned and looked up at her master. "This is it Rocky." Bakura whispered, using the dog's nickname. "After 10 years, I'm finally going to make a movie." The answering machine picked up again, and this time, Bakura heard it.

_"Ryou, pick up. It's Mai. I'm leaving. You've been promising me work for a year, and you've turned up nothing." _Bakura gasped and jumped to his feet, racing to the phone.

"No, NO!" He shouted, sliding across the floor. He knocked down the table the phone was on, sending it to the floor, along with himself.

"_Ryou? I heard a crash, you okay?" _Mai asked. Bakura grabbed the receiver.

"Mai, don't leave!" Bakura pleaded. "We're making a movie, I promise!"

_"You promised a lot of things when we met Ryou, and I need work." _

"You will have work Mai, I promise you. Just be here at 9 am tomorrow, and I'll fill you in. Ok?" Bakura said.

_"But Ryou…" _

"9 am, sharp." Bakura said, hanging up. One thing you can count on- for some reason, if you tell someone to do something, and hang up on them, they'll probably do it. A funny quirk of humans, but hey, it worked. Bakura set the table upright and put the phone on it, hitting speed dial. He waited as a machine picked up.

_"Yo, you've reached Malik. I ain't here, leave a message." _Bakura sighed. He preferred to speak to Malik directly, but beggars can't be choosers.

"Malik, I need a fancy car tomorrow, and I need to know where Maximillion Pegasus is at 9:30 am. That's right, Pegasus. Do it, don't think about it, just do it. You're my hero pal." Bakura hung up and hit a second speed dial. This one picked up on the second ring.

_"What?" _A sleepy voice snapped. Bakura grinned.

"Kaiba, its Ryou." He said cheerfully.

_"Bye."_ Kaiba growled.

"Wait wait wait, Kaiba, hold on!" Bakura shouted. "Look, I got the break, I'm making a film, and I'm casting you as the villain! Whadda ya think?"

_"Excuse me while I jump up and down for joy."_ Kaiba growled

"Look, be here at 9 am tomorrow. I'll explain everything then." Bakura said, hanging up. He hit one more speed dial.

_"Yeah, what's up?"_ the voice on the line said.

"Joey, its Ryou. You did it pal, you wrote a great script." Bakura cheered. Joey gasped.

_"Really? You're kidding!"_ Joey cried.

"Now way, you did it Joey. Kiss those fast food jobs goodbye, you're a screenwriter now." Bakura chuckled.

_"I knew it, I knew I'd get it!"_ Joey yelled. _"Hello-o-o-o-o-o film industry, ha HA! Yeah!"_

"Joey, Joey!" Bakura yelled. "I need you to be here at 9 am, ok?"

_"You got it!"_ Joey said. Bakura hung up and took a breath.

"This is it…" He whispered, looking up at a calendar. "5 months, and I'm 30." Bakura smiled. No great director he could think of had started after they hit 30. In Hollywood, if you couldn't make your break before you got to middle age…well, as far as Bakura had heard, you probably _weren't _gonna make your break. "I've got one last shot." He looked down at Rochelle. "You think I can make a movie…don't ya Rocky?" Rochelle whimpered and trotted away. Bakura sighed.

"I get that a lot."

-9 am, the next day-

Joey yawned and leaned his head on the shoulder of the person next to him. Kaiba grimaced and shoved him back.

"Get offa me." He snarled.

"Excuse me, I'm sleepy." Joey grumbled. Mai crossed her arms.

"Where is he, we're on time." She huffed. The door to Bakura's bedroom opened, and the man walked out with a script in his hand and a grin on his face.

"First of all, thanks for still coming. I know things have been slow lately…"

"No, a snail is slow, a turtle is slow. Turtles have been passing us, and pointing and laughing." Kaiba snapped.

"You're supposed to keep us employed Bakura, and none of us have seen work in a year." Mai agreed. "I've got bills to pay, and I don't plan to be a clothing store clerk forever, I want to be in movies." Bakura held up his hands.

"I know, I know. But, last night, I was given an omen. God reached down his hand into this young man." He said, holding out a hand to Joey. "And through him, wrote an incredible script that every studio is going to want." Joey grinned and shook Bakura's hand.

"Aw, it was nothin'." Joey blushed.

"Oh, this is far from nothing, Joey. We are the little guys. We are the nadda, we the squat, we are the bottom rung on the Hollywood ladder. When guys climb to the top, they don't pass us because we're so low on the ladder."

"You really know how to give a pep talk." Kaiba muttered. Bakura continued, ignoring him.

"We do not have power, strength. Until now. Because my friend, Joey Wheeler, is an amazing screenwriter, as well as a great McDonalds cashier, and Tim Horton's drive through manager." Joey shrugged.

"Thanks, I try. You've gotta pack the donuts on top, or else they smoosh. You put the harder stuff on the bottom, so it can stand the weight." He said. Bakura nodded.

"Okay Joey, tell them what it's about." Bakura said eagerly. Joey sat up and smiled.

"Okay guys, the movie is called…Yugioh, King of Games." He said triumphantly. Mai raised an eyebrow.

"That's it? That's the title?" She asked dryly. Kaiba snorted.

"Please. No one in their right mind is going to watch something called Yugioh." He said under his breath. Joey glared.

"It's Japanese, Kaiba. See, in ancient Egypt, the strongest wizards battled each other, using monsters from another dimension. These battles were called 'Shadow Games', and the strongest player was the Pharaoh Atemu, making him the King of Games. Yugioh, it's Japanese for King of Games." Joey explained.

"Right." Bakura agreed. "And when our hero Atemu, strikes down Seth's Blue Eyes White Dragon with the Dark Magician, and yells…_go to Hell, old friend_…that is a moment, it will be _the _moment, it will be the final fight scene movies will try to copy for decades to come." Bakura looked up and pointed at the window. "Look at that." He said. Joey, Kaiba and Mai turned. A FedEx truck was driving down the street. "You see that FedEx truck?" Bakura asked. Joey turned to him.

"It's coming here?" He asked. Bakura shrugged.

"Well no." He admitted, as the truck turned a corner. "But big people, directors, producers, actors. The big names, they get FedExs every day from trucks like that. And one day, a FedEx truck will stop here, and a delivery man will come in, and hand me a FedEx package containing an offer to shoot a film. And when that happens, we- and by we, I actually just mean me- will be somebody." Joey grinned.

"Whoa…what a dream." He said. Kaiba rolled his eyes. Bakura looked at his watch.

"And right now, I have a meeting with Maximillion Pegasus." He said, tossing on a jacket. "And if it goes the way I hope…I'll see you 3 at the Oscars." Bakura rushed out the door, leaving his 3 friends behind.

- - - - - - - - - -

The old van drove down Hollywood Boulevard, heading to a random parking lot. Bakura pulled in next to a tanned man leaning against a red sports car. Bakura jumped out and walked towards them.

"Malik, nice wheels." He yelled. Malik Ishter, one of Bakura's best friends, worked at a movie studio. It was a low job, a little bit a security, some chauffer work, a little inventory. And through Malik, Bakura was often able to put up a front. Like today, for example. Malik tossed Bakura the keys.

"This belongs to the producer, and I need to have it washed and gassed up within 2 hours." Malik warned. "Pegasus is at the Café Grande, on 3rd and 5th." Bakura climbed in the car and looked up at Malik.

"At long last, I'm making a movie. And you, my friend, are head of filming. You know what that means, right?"

"It means you'll finally be paying me back for all these years of doing shit like this for you? Risking my job so you can fool others into thinking you're a somebody?" Malik asked.

"Exactly." Bakura said, pulling back. "And Malik, if this movie gets made, the van is yours!" He drove out of the parking lot, leaving a confused Malik behind.

"It's already mine!" He called after Bakura, tapping the custom 'Ishtar1' plates.

- - - - - - - - - -

Inside a men's clothing store, Bakura was browsing. He picked up a grey suit and looked it over before looking down at his old, worn out plaid suit. He glanced back at the counter, where the store clerk was reading a magazine. Bakura looked up as a security camera turned away. He nodded and went to work.

-30 seconds later-

Bakura walked past the store clerk, whistling. As he passed, the clerk looked up.

"Have a nice day sir." He said. As he looked down at his magazine, the clerk did a double take and looked up. Near where Bakura was browsing, a worn out plaid suit hung from the rack.

- - - - - - - - - -

Climbing in 'his' car, Bakura tore the price tag off the cuff of his new grey suit and took a breath.

"Car, check. Suit, check. Pegasus' whereabouts, check." Bakura nodded. "Okay. Let's do this." Bakura started up his car and headed for 3rd and 5th, the Café Grande. Time to con Hollywood's biggest producer into producing his film.


	2. Welcome to the Big Leagues

Ryou Bakura- Film Maker

**This chapter just poured out, so hey, early update.**

Chapter 2

Welcome to the Big Leagues

Bakura parked and jogged up the street to the Café Grande, a tiny little lunch restaurant. He walked in.

"Table for one please." He said to the hostess. "And could you please seat me near Maximillion Pegasus, he's expecting me." He said. The hostess nodded and grabbed a menu, leading Bakura to the seat. As they walked, Bakura pulled a cell phone from his pocket. It didn't have batteries, and even if it did, his service had been cut off. But the look was important. Another trick Bakura had picked up- even if you can't _be_ the part, if you look and act the part, it may just be enough. Bakura sat down directly behind Pegasus, and mimed talking on the phone. In reality, he was listening in on Pegasus.

"Mr. Pegasus, I've gone over the available stars." Pegasus' assistant Croquet said. "And our choices are limited." Pegasus nodded.

"What about Taisho, I hear he and his wife are looking for a couple role." He said. Croquet shook his head.

"Sorry sir. I know you want to finance a big actor, but I don't know…"

"What about Yami Muto?" Pegasus asked suddenly. Croquet shook his head.

"Sorry, he's talking to another director for a film already." Croquet said. Bakura grinned to himself. Showtime. Bakura started to raise his voice. Step one: get their attention with a name.

"Hey, you don't tell me who stars in my films!" He snapped into the cell phone. "I don't care if you signed Yami for this deal, maybe I want someone else!" Pegasus turned around in his seat.

"Yami Muto?" He asked. Bakura nodded.

"Yeah, him. Can you believe these morons are telling me who I'm casting for _my_ movie?" He asked, snorting. He turned back to the 'caller'. "Hey, look, get him. I'll talk to him. Tell him I'll cast him for the film, but if I do, my producer is pulling out….yeah, you heard me. I'll cast Yami, but where on earth am I going to find another producer willing to finance a film with Yami on such short notice?" Bakura asked. "Fine, get Yami, I'll talk to him." Pegasus turned to Croquet and jerked a thumb at Bakura.

"He has Yami." Pegasus muttered. Croquet raised an eyebrow.

"He has Yami?" He replied.

"I've got Yami!" Bakura said cheerfully. "Hey Yami, long time….well, the producer says he's heard bad things, and…no, I don't know his name. Well look, I really want you in this, but he'll pull out the cash if you're in it. If I can find another producer, you've got the part, but if I don't, well…" Pegasus turned around again.

"Let me talk to him." He said. Bakura looked up.

"Huh?" Pegasus pointed at the phone.

"Let me talk to Yami." He repeated. Bakura nodded.

"Ok, just a minute. Yami…guess who's here? Maximillion Pegasus…what? I said Maximillion Pegasus! Ah damn, I knew I forgot to recharge it. Yami, I'll call ya later, my batteries are….damn." Bakura cursed and clicked his cell phone shut. "Sorry Mr. Pegasus, my batteries died." Pegasus stared at him.

"You're filming a movie with Yami Muto?" He asked. Bakura shrugged.

"Well yeah, provided I can find a producer on such short notice." He muttered. "I'm not sure…hey…aren't you a producer?" He asked. Pegasus shrugged.

"That depends, I'll have to look at the script." Bakura reached into his suit.

"Here." He said, holding it out. Pegasus took it and looked it over.

"I like the start." He said. "Hm…good characters…Seth, now that's a villain…hm. It needs a line, where's the line?" He asked. Bakura smiled.

"Page 47, line 17." He said. Pegasus flipped through the script and found it.

"Hm…_go to Hell, old friend._" He muttered.

"What do you think?" Bakura asked.

"I think I just saw the red carpet at the premiere." Pegasus replied, handing the script back to Bakura. "I like it, it's good. You get the okay from Yami, if he's willing to sign the contract, you got yourself a producer pal." Bakura smiled.

"Thank you Mr. Pegasus. Don't worry, I know Yami. He'll take the script, he's mature."

- - - - - - - - - -

"I hate it!" Yami screamed, stomping through his mansion. The man behind him jogged to catch up, sweating.

"I admit, it's not the best script, but there's lots of action."

"Shut up!" Yami snapped. "What's the line, I didn't hear the line!"

"The line?" the man asked. Yami turned around.

"God damn, you know…the line! That line, the line that makes the film, what's the line?" The man fumbled with a script in his hands.

"Uh, it's uh, uh…Well that was nasty." Yami stared.

"That was nasty? That's it, that's the line, that's the best you Hollyweird screw-ups can come up with?" He snarled, turning and marching.

"It's a reoccurring line, he says it five times!" The man protested.

"That's stupid. The audience has to listen, hear it before hand. A line has to stand on its own, or else it becomes too complicated!" Yami yelled, entering his study. "We don't need complicated shit, we're making a movie, not a film, god damn it!" The man sputtered.

"Well look, I'll talk to the writer, and…"

"You know what else?" Yami said, sitting at his computer. "I ran the script last night, scanned it. Discovered something interesting with it." Yami typed, and pointed at the screen. "There, there it is! Page 8, you circle every 6th letter, it spells out START WORLD WAR THREE. And page 11, circle every 9th letter. VOTE FOR A COMMUNIST PRESIDENT." Yami put his hands on his hips and glared at the man. The man's jaw dropped.

"What?" He gasped.

"I'm on to you, big boy. Your stupid little brainwashing game isn't gonna fly with me!" Yami said. "Go brainwash your dumbass politics through someone else, because I'm on to you!" The man stood up and ran from the room. "Yeah, run fat boy, run!" Yami shouted. The man passed Yami's agent, who entered. "Hey Tristan, what's up?" Yami asked, leaning back in his computer chair. Tristan cleared his throat.

"Well, sir, you have a Paradias meeting soon. You have to leave." Tristan explained. Yami nodded.

"Fine, I'm going." He said, getting up.

- - - - - - - - - -

Tristan held open the door to the limo outside, and Yami went to climb in.

"Excuse me Mr. Muto!" Yami looked up as Bakura jogged up to him. "Script delivery, from Paramount." Yami shook his head.

"Buzz off, I ain't working for no Paramount." He snapped. Bakura looked down at the script in his hands.

"Sorry, I meant Universal." He lied. Yami pursed his lip.

"We'll see, let me have it." He said, snatching the script. "This thing looks long, it ain't no Lord of the Rings trilogy crap, is it? I've told you bigwigs, I don't do the medieval shit."

"No no no, it's not like that, this script is great, it's just your thing." Bakura assured him. Yami's head snapped up.

"Wait a minute, you're the delivery boy, right? How do you know it's just my thing?" Bakura shrugged.

"I read it on the way over, hope you don't mind."

"God damn, you were reading my script?" Yami snapped. Bakura held up his hands.

"Look, it's a great script. It's fantasy, which has been popular recently, and…"

"Shut up!" Yami muttered, tossing the script over his shoulder. "Get outta here, take your dumbass script with ya." Bakura raced past him and picked up the script.

"Okay, thank you anyway. I have to go as it is, I'm late for my Paradias meeting." Yami froze and looked over his shoulder.

"Paradias?" He asked. Bakura nodded.

"Yeah, I'm a level 2 member." He said. God bless Google search engines. Yami smiled.

"You want a lift?" Yami asked. Bakura smiled back.

"You're a member too?"

"Hell yeah, come on. I'll give ya ride." Yami said, climbing in. Bakura climbed in next to him, and Tristan slammed the door shut. "Who's your councilor?" Yami asked.

"Valon." Bakura replied. The limo started up and drove down the driveway of Yami's mansion. The limo turned and drove about 20 feet before screeching to a halt. The back door opened, and Bakura hit the street. Yami leaned out.

"I'm not an idiot home boy. Go home, ya lying sack of shit!" He snarled, closing the door. Bakura stood in the street as the limo drove away.

"Please, I'm a small time director with a great script, just read it!" He pleaded. The limo stopped again, and the script was flung out the window. Bakura sighed and pulled a quarter from his pocket. He walked down to pick up the battered script before finding a payphone.

_"Yeah?" _Malik said, answering. Bakura sighed.

"Just finished my little run around town. Pegasus will only finance me if I can get Yami Muto to star. So I went to see Yami."Bakura said.

_"Yeah? And how did that go?"_

"Not like I'd hoped."


	3. Head Games

Ryou Bakura, Film Maker

**If you thot Yami came off as unstable last chapter…ho boy! And as you can tell from what the 'movie' is about…heh heh. Who here can smell the set-up, anyone? Let the games begin!**

Head Games

"I think you've made excellent progress." Dartz said lowly. Opposite him, in the office of the head of Paradias, Yami nodded eagerly. "Your paranoia and rage problems have been under complete control. And I know Yami, that you can keep them in control, as long as you remember the 3 Happy Rules." Yami chuckled.

"Right, Happy Rule number 1: there is no such thing as magic." He recited.

"Correct. Happy Rule number 2?" Dartz asked.

"Happy Rule number 2: there is not some dragon in a cloud somewhere, waitin' to blast me." Yami continued. Dartz nodded.

"And, Happy Rule number 3?"

"Happy Rule number 3, even if I feel like I might combust…odds are I won't." Yami said. Dartz smiled. He was not only the head of Paradias, but the best psychiatrist they had. Yami had been so challenging a case, Dartz had decided to take it himself. Plus, a few 'fees' here and there, kept his bank account nicely padded. Dartz clasped his hands together.

"Right, very good. So, what do we do?" Yami grinned.

"We keep it together. Keep. It. Together." He muttered. Dartz nodded and spoke again, this time in a less-soothing voice.

"And what do not do, under any circumstances?" He grated. Yami winced and looked away.

"I've gotta, I've gotta do iiiiit." Yami moaned. Dartz glared.

"What is it?" He demanded. Yami sighed and looked at Dartz.

"I've gotta show it to them…" He whispered.

"You _cannot _show it to the Laker Girls." Dartz insisted. "I know you want to show it to the Laker Girls, but you can never show it to them. Keep Little Yami in the pants." Yami groaned.

"You're kidding me!"

"In the pants!" Dartz snapped. Yami bit his lip, and Dartz stood up, holding out his hand. "Come, our support group is starting Yami. And I asked, and they are not pretending to be 'nuts', as you said, so they can infiltrate Paradias to spy on you." Yami rolled his eyes and stood up.

"Well of course they won't admit it." He mumbled.

"Remember those Happy Rules." Dartz lectured. Yami nodded.

"Right, Happy Rule number 1: there is no such thing as magic!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"It was like magic!" Joey exclaimed, pacing in Bakura's living room. Malik had arrived after Bakura had given the car back before he went to see Yami. He hadn't yet relayed the bad news about the film to the would-be cast. "I just sat down, started typing, and the story poured out of me!"

"We know, you've this story 3 freaking times." Kaiba growled, massaging his temples. "Give it a rest already." The door opened, and the 4 jumped up as Bakura marched past them into his office. Malik, Mai, Kaiba and Joey followed as Bakura headed straight for his desk and sat down, a hand rubbing his chin.

"Well?" Kaiba asked. Bakura ignored him and noticed Rochelle lying in a corner.

"Rocky!" Bakura called. Rochelle turned her head and stood up. "Come." Bakura commanded. Rochelle yawned and walked towards Bakura. "Sit." Rochelle stopped and sat down. "Good, come." Rochelle walked again. "Sit." Rochelle obeyed. "Good girl, come!" Rochelle trotted over, and Bakura rubbed her head affectionately. "Good girl, aren't you amazing?" He said. Kaiba snarled and slammed a fist on the desk.

"Damn it Ryou, what happened?" He demanded. Bakura sighed and spun his chair to face his friends.

"Okay, I went to see Pegasus, right?" He started. "And, I gave him the script, and I looked it over, and he said that he'd only finance me if I could get Yami Muto to star." Mai gasped.

"_The _Yami Muto?" She breathed. Bakura nodded.

"Right, and I'd like that, but I started thinking, and turned Pegasus down. Ya see, Yami and Pegasus are the big names, and if we let 2 of them in this, they'll take over from us. So, I opted for Yami, because anyone will finance us if I can get him. So I went to see Yami." Bakura paused. Joey stared.

"And!" He shouted.

"Well, I met with Yami." Bakura started. "He read over the script, and I asked him 'well Yami, will you do this movie?' And Yami looked up at me like this." Bakura looked up at Joey, and froze. His friend had a look of absolute hope on his face. Bakura looked among his other 3 friends, and internally gasped. Time to crush their hopes and dreams. Time to most likely, shatter any faith they had in him, lose them forever, and lose his last chance for the big break he had been waiting for his whole life.

What was he thinking!

"He said….yes." Bakura said slowly. Even Kaiba's eyes bulged out at that one. Mai swallowed.

"Yami Muto…said yes?" She whispered. Bakura nodded.

"Yami Muto…Hollywood's biggest star, is going to be in our movie!" He cheered. Mai and Joey cheered and happily hugged each other. Even Kaiba pumped his fist. Malik opted for having his jaw drop and giving Bakura a look of disbelief.

-Later That Night-

Malik sat on Bakura's sofa, idly flipping his cell phone open and closed. Bakura was rushing around the house, doing…something. Finally, Malik spoke when Bakura passed him.

"So when are you going to tell them?" He asked.

"Tell who what?" Bakura replied. Malik followed him into the bedroom.

"Tell your friends there isn't a movie." Malik explained.

"Oh, we are doing a movie, and we are doing it with Yami Muto." Bakura said, pulling an old metal lunchbox from under his bed.

"How?" Malik demanded.

"Simple." Bakura said, walking past him into his office. "He just won't know he's in it." Malik stood there for a moment before turning.

"Huh?" He asked. Bakura pointed to a section of wall with a series of post-it-notes on it.

"There are 5 major scenes with Yami, including the final scene. There are 25 scenes altogether. We hide a camera wherever Yami is, our actors do the line, we shoot the scenes without him on our own time, and that's that. And the best part is, I won't have to pay him, which is good, because I can't afford to pay the actors I have already."

"And what does Yami do?" Malik asked dryly. Bakura opened his desk drawer and rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't matter, that's the genius part! Atemu has lost his memories in the script! Yami won't know what's going on in real life, he won't know what's going on in the movie. It fits perfectly, it doesn't matter what he does!"

"That's insane!" Malik yelled.

"I know, but I'm desperate." Bakura growled, rummaging in his desk drawer.

"Why not wait for a star who really _does _want to be in the film?" Malik asked.

"Because I'm done waiting." Bakura replied, pulling an old key from the drawer. "Malik, I'm turning 30 in 5 months. I've gotten away with lying about my age. I've done 27, 25, 23. Once I got away with just plain 20. But 30 is the crest of the hill, the start of middle-age. It is a barren wasteland, and I will not miss what may be my final chance." Bakura unlocked a padlock on the lunchbox.

"What's that?" Malik asked.

"When I was 7, my father took me to see my first movie, and from that day forward, I knew that's what I wanted to do with my life. But I knew I would need money. So I started putting away 2 dollars, every week of my life, from age 7 on. And once I got older, I start putting away more money. And now we have enough to get this project off the ground." Bakura opened the lunchbox to reveal a pile of old dollar bills. "Here is exactly 2, 843 dollars." He said.

"Movies cost millions of dollars." Malik infored him. Bakura groaned.

"Oh please, that's after gross point, agent fees, flat taxes, 10 percent of the…mleh. When it comes to flat cash, every movies costs 2, 843 dollars."

"How are you supposed to afford equipment with that money?" Malik asked.

"Simple, I borrow it." Bakura said, locking the lunchbox. Malik quickly got what he meant.

"Getting you cars is risky enough, but damn Ryou, you want equipment now?" He muttered.

"I just need sound and a camera, the other stuff will be pretty useless anyway." Bakura insisted. Malik sighed.

"I'll try for the camera, and I think I can get sound."

"Perfect!" Bakura said cheerily. Malik thought.

"So, almost no equipment, almost no money, a small cast, and the star has no clue he's going to be in it. Are you sure this movie is a good idea?" Bakura shrugged.

"Sure, absolutely! What could go wrong?" He asked, walking past Malik. Malik snorted.

"I dunno, let me think. Oh, I know, how about EVERYTHING!"


	4. New Recruits

Ryou Bakura- Film Maker

**For anyone who starts to wonder what the pairing is for this story…I'd advise you not to ask. Really, don't ask.**

**Warning: some…intimate kissing here.**

Chapter 4

New Recruits

"Seth, I do care for you, but only as a friend! Please understand, I love Atemu, and killing him will not change that!" Anzu pleaded.

"Damn it woman, you're mine!" Seth snarled, pulling Anzu into a kiss. Anzu whimpered and pushed Seth away before slapping him across the face. That done, Anzu/Vivian turned to Bakura eagerly.

"How was that?" She asked. Bakura shrugged.

"Next." He muttered. Vivian huffed and stomped out of the apartment. Bakura, Malik and Kaiba/Seth were holding auditions for the part of Anzu. So far, according to Bakura, every one of them had sucked.

"Face it Ryou, the Anzu you're looking for isn't out there." Kaiba growled.

"Oh she is, we just have to find her. The Anzu I'm looking for has it, that's what I need." Bakura assured him. Malik gave him a look.

"What is 'it'?" He asked.

"It is…it is it. Look, I can't explain it, but I'll know my Anzu when I see her. In the meantime, we make lots of cash by charging 20 dollars for the auditions, right?" There was a knock on the door, and Bakura grinned. "Oh goodie, more money!" He cheered, getting up. He opened the door and smiled. "Hello dearie, how can I help you?" He asked. The brunette woman outside looked up from her purse.

"Hi, un…is there where the auditions are?" She asked, looking over her shoulder. Bakura had made a cardboard sign reading 'MOVIE AUDITIONS HERE', and hung it from the streetlight. Luckily, no one had called a cop yet. Bakura hoped to find his Anzu before that happened.

"It is, come in, come in." Bakura chuckled, leading the woman inside. "And you are?"

"I'm Tea." The woman said, fishing a checkbook from her purse. Bakura winced.

"You don't have cash?" He asked. Tea bit her lip.

"Well…I do, but the banks are closed." She explained. Bakura shrugged.

"I'm sorry, a more profitable company could take checks, but we can only take cash." He said. Tea groaned.

"Please, I spent all my money to get here, and I do have money, I really do, just not on me." She pleaded. Bakura sighed and put a hand around her shoulders.

"Awwwww….there there there…there's the door, we can't let you audition." He said, pushing Tea outside.

"But I…" Tea was cut off as Bakura slammed the door in her face.

"Everyone wants something for nothing." He grumbled, stomping to the sofa.

"Why couldn't she audition?" Kaiba asked.

"She didn't have money." Bakura explained.

"So, maybe she had that…it shit, you were talking about." Kaiba replied.

"But she didn't have money!" Bakura countered.

"Then let her audition without paying!" Kaiba yelled.

"I can't do that, the system doesn't work like that!" Bakura moaned. "I didn't design the system, the system is bigger than…fine. You know what, fine. Go get her." Kaiba nodded and jogged out the door.

- - - - - - - - - -

Tea was walking down the street with her hands in the pockets of her jeans when Kaiba ran up to her

"Hey." He said. "I talked to Bakura. He's willing to let the no cash thing slide." Tea gasped.

"Really?" She squeaked. "You just…talked to him, and he said yes?" Kaiba shrugged.

"Well…yeah, he listens to me." He explained. Tea pursed her lip.

"Okay, let's go."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"I'm doing you a favor, so thank me." Kaiba muttered under his breath as he led Tea to the area where two lamps on their sides provided a 'stage'. Tea smiled.

"Oh don't worry, I will." She promised. Bakura sat down next to Malik.

"Okay, let's see what ya got." He said, handing the script to Tea. Tea read it.

"Seth, I do care for you, but only as a friend! Please understand, I love Atemu, and killing him will not change that!" Kaiba growled.

"Damn it woman, you are mine!" He snarled, pulling Tea into a kiss. Okay, count to 3…Tea's hand went up to his shirt to push him away. Wait a minute…she wasn't letting go! Tea grabbed his shirt and pulled Kaiba closer as she pushed up against him. Kaiba's eyes popped open. He shook his head and held up his hands to the side as Tea slid her other arm around his neck. Kaiba looked out of the corner of his eye. Malik was sitting wide-eyed. Bakura was calmly stroking his chin. Kaiba tried to say something, but it got muffled as Tea took the opportunity to slide her tongue into his mouth. Kaiba gulped as the hand grasping his shirt came up to stroke his cheek. **(1) **Finally, Tea pulled away and smiled eagerly at Bakura.

"How was that?" She asked. Bakura shrugged.

"It was okay, let's try it again." Kaiba gave him a look of disbelief.

"AGAIN?" He shouted. Bakura nodded.

"Yeah, and this time Kaiba, try not to look like she's holding you at gunpoint."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Oh my god, thank you Mr. Bakura!" Tea squealed as Bakura climbed into Malik's van outside. "You will not regret this, I swear!" Tea ran back inside the house as Bakura turned to Malik.

"Malik, we need a crew, and we need the best damn crew we can afford." He said, starting the van. Malik raised an eyebrow.

"But we can't afford a crew. We can barely afford a cast."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Although photography was in use almost a half-century before hand, the first actual filmstrip was designed in 1894 by the famous Thomas Edison…" The tour guide Ishizu read. Ishizu was leading a class of 12th graders through a museum on their film-making field trip. "Next we shall view an actual copy of the first working motion-picture camera. Just wait a moment while I get the key." Ishizu left, and the class of teens was left to their own. Bakura slipped into the room.

"Excuse me." He called. The class turned to face him. "How would you kids like to get out of school for a month?" He asked. A student stepped forward.

"I'm Drake pops. You kiddin' us old man, you get us outta class?" He asked. Bakura jabbed Malik with his elbow.

"Told ya, 30, the start of middle age." He muttered. "No, I'm not kidding. I'm a director, and I need a crew. I'll pull you out of school for the next month, is you guys promise to work for me as crew." Drake grinned and shook Bakura's hand.

"Film a movie and get outta school? You got a deal!" He said.

"Okay, but I'm very low budget, and I can't afford to pay you." Bakura warned.

"Shit man, getting' us outta school, that's your payment!" Drake laughed. Bakura grinned.

"Okay. Malik, lead our new friends to the van, and we'll take ya back to the house to meet the cast." Malik led Drake and the rest of the class outside. Bakura smiled and followed them.

- - - - - - - - - -

"So you're da screenwriter, huh?" Drake asked, popping a nacho in his mouth. Bakura's cast and Drake's crew were lounging in the living room of Bakura's home.

"Ya, that's me." Joey admitted. Drake grinned and jerked his head towards Tea.

"So, tell me…any scenes where the leggy chick gets nude?" He asked slyly. Joey sighed.

"Sadly, no. But I'm sure it's not too late for a re-write." Joey and Drake shared grins as Bakura entered the room.

"Attention everyone!" he called. The conversations died down as Bakura became the center of attention. "I just got off the phone with Yami, he gave us some conditions with shooting. It's all typical stuff, he wants no off-set contact with any of us, we film his scenes on location andwhen he says so, only one take per scene…"

"One take?" Mai asked.

"He feels that doing more takes detracts from the experience of doing it once. He thinks we're all such great actors, we only need one take." Bakura lied. "And, he doesn't want to see the camera."

"Why?" Tea asked, shifting closer on the sofa to Kaiba. Kaiba coughed and shifted away.

"He just gets so into character when he films his movies, and if he sees the camera, it shatters his concentration." Bakura explained. "Don't worry, filming will go fine."

"Yeah, when do we start filming?" Joey called. Bakura grinned.

"Yami's ready, we have a cast, a crew, a budget, and the contract. So, we start tomorrow at 9 am!"

**Let the games begin!**

**1: I'd like to take a moment to share my thots on that particular scene….whoa, look at her go!**

**And while it does seem a little early to advertise my next adaptation…well, when you have an idea, ya have an idea! This one I really want to do, it'll be lots of fun!**

**Yugioh- Men in Leather (An adaptation of the Mel Brooks film 'Robin Hood- Men in Tights)**

**Starring…**

**Yugi as Robin**

**Tea as Maid Marion**

**Joey as Achoo**

**Mai as Broom Hilda**

**Drake as Blinkin**

**Kaiba and Mokuba as Little John and Will Scarlet O'Hera**

**Bakura as the Sheriff of Rottingham**

**Malik as Prince John**

**Rochelle as Latrine**

**Pegasus as Rabbi Tuckman**

**Dax, Anthony and Carol as Don Giovanni and his 'associates'**

**Yami as King Richard**

**Plot: After 3 years of war with Rome with King Yami, Yugi returns home to Egypt, only to find the King's brother abusing his power! And it's so bad that Yugi's own beloved home has been taken from him due to failure to pay his taxes! But Yugi is not going to take this lying down! Assembling a rag-tag group of those also hit by 'King' Malik's cruel laws, they plan to strike back, take down Malik, and foil the schemes of his sinister co-hort, Bakura of Kul Elna.**


	5. First Scenes

Ryou Bakura- Film Maker

Chapter 5

First Scenes

-Hollywood California, outside the gates of Yami Muto's mansion-

-8:55 am-

"Is Téa in costume?" Bakura asked, pacing in the bushes across the street.

"I'm here." Téa panted, running out from the dressing room, aka, the back of Malik's van.

"Okay good, where's the camera?" Bakura shouted. Malik ran up and set up a tripod behind a bush.

"If it's missing from the shop for over 24 hours, it's a crime and I'm facing 5 years." Malik warned, adjusting it.

"Right right. Téa, get into position!" Téa nodded and ran across the street to duck behind a bush. Bakura looked at his watch.

"1 minute!" He hissed. "Everyone in the bush!" They all nodded and ducked behind the bushes. Téa popped up from her place and flashed a thumbs up. "Speed…rolling." Bakura flipped on the camera as the gates opened. "And…action!" Bakura hissed. A long black limousine rolled down the drive, and luckily for them, the window was down, showing Yami's familiar tri-colored mane of hair. "Zoom in, make sure we can see him." Bakura hissed. Drake, who was manning the camera, nodded and zoomed in on the window. "Follow him down the street." Bakura urged as the limo turned right. "Right…" Bakura stood up as Yami's limo drove past and pointed at Téa. "Téa, go!" He whispered. Téa stood up and tip-toed inside the gates.

"Follow him…now…back to Téa!" Bakura ordered. Drake swung the camera, and Téa emerged from the gates of the mansion.

"Atemu, you're here!" She shouted, reaching a hand out to Yami's limo. "My Pharaoh, I've waited 5000 years to see you again! Please, tell me you remember!" Téa shouted.

Inside his limo, Yami frowned and turned to stare out the back.

"Atemu, my darling! Atemu, please, you must remember me!" Téa called. Yami looked forward at the driver.

"Atemu…hey, is your name Atemu?" He asked. The driver looked up in his rearview mirror and shook his head.

"Nah, I'm Kazuki. But thanks for asking." He said, rolling his eyes. Yami's limo turned a corner, and Bakura jumped into the street.

"And CUT!" He called.

- - - - - - - - - -

The gang sat in Bakura's living room, the camera hooked up to Bakura's television. Bakura watched eagerly as the footage zoomed in on Yami in his limo.

"This is it, come on." Bakura whispered. Beside him, Malik nodded. The camera followed the limo down the street to show Téa running from within the mansion gates.

"Yes, it worked!" He said, shaking Malik by the shoulder. "It looks like Téa was following him out of the house! This is gonna work!" Malik smiled.

"By the way, I got a call on the way here." He replied. "Yami meeting his agent at Blue Dunes tomorrow at noon." He whispered. Bakura nodded.

"We'll be there."

-The Next Day-

Across from the open-air café, Blue Dunes, sat an old van. Inside, Bakura was making sure his equipment worked. He looked across the street. Standing outside the railing separating the café from the sidewalk was Drake, holding a large sign that read 'Will Work For Food' on foil wrap.

"I see Yami, but his agent is with him." Bakura said to Malik. "We'll have to wait until he leaves." Malik nodded. "I'm gonna go check on Mai, keep an eye on Yami." Bakura slid open the van door and jogged down the street. Around the corner from the café was Mai, sitting in a make up chair with her back to Bakura. "Mai, I just wanted to GAH!" Bakura yelped as Mai turned around. Her face had been through make up to look white, and she was wearing a long white robe that reached her knees.

"Ryou, you are so lucky we're friends." She growled. "White make up, white robe…this goes against every fashion trend I hold dear."

"Did you do the hair like I asked?" Bakura asked, noticing Mai's hair was wrapped in a towel. Mai rolled her eyes and took the towel off to shake out her hair, revealing she had died it a light blue.

"Like I said, you're lucky we're friends." Mai growled. Bakura grinned.

"Okay Kisara, ya ready to do this? We're just waiting for the cue from Yami." He said. Mai rolled her eyes and stood up, brushing off her costume.

"Fine. Let's do this." She said. Bakura nodded and ran back to the van, getting in and looking through the camera.

"Yes, he left!" He whispered, noticing Tristan lave the café. Bakura pulled out a pair of walkie-talkies. "Lights!" Outside, Drake turned to face the café customers, the foil wrap sign shining light onto the sight. "Sound." Sitting in the booth behind Yami, Kaiba reached up to adjust his coat collar, the microphone poking up from his shoulder. Bakura waved out the window, and Mai stumbled forward to rest herself against a car before staggering forward. "And…action!" Bakura said. Mai staggered to the café, and gasped as she ran to Yami.

"My Pharaoh, thank the Gods I have found you!" Mai whimpered, grabbing Yami's hand. Yami jerked his hand back.

"What the hell, who are you?" He snapped. Mai hung her head.

"My Pharaoh, please forgive me, but you must remember, we have little time! Seth will arrive soon, and if you do not stop him, he shall conquer us all." Mai pleaded.

"Seth, what the hell are you talking about?" Yami asked. Mai raised her head.

"My Pharaoh, Seth's magic has increased in strength dramatically since your last encounter. Please, he seeks the Kaa sleeping inside my soul, you cannot let him have it! If Seth gains the power of the White Dragon, all will be lost."

"White Dragon?" Yami yelped, leaping out of his seat. "Soul, magic, what kinda shit is this?" Mai fell to her hands and knees and forced herself to cry.

"Please…do not let him have me." She sobbed. She looked up and jumped to her feet. "No…Seth!" She whispered. Mai spun around and ran. Yami watched her go wide-eyed before leaping over the railing and running down the street to where Tristan was pulling up.

"I got the car sir, what…" Tristan was cut off as Yami jumped in like the hounds of Hell were hot on his heels.

"Drive drive, just get the hell outta here!" He yelled, jamming his foot down the gas. Bakura watched Yami and Tristan drive away with a slight smile.

"And cut." He whispered. 2 scenes down, 3 to go.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I'm tellin' ya, there's some strange shit going on here." Yami yelled, pacing in Dartz's office. "This chick was wacko, I'm tellin' ya!"

"So, this woman came up to you on the street and started saying things you did not understand." Dartz said, trying to soothe Yami. It wasn't working. "What did she say?"

"I dunno!" Yami shouted. "Something about a White Dragon in her soul or something. Some kinda magician name Seth, a Pharaoh or whatever, god damn, I dunno!" Yami fell back to sit on Dartz's sofa and start biting his nails. **(1)** Dartz sighed. After they had made such good progress.

"Yami…can you keep it together?" Dartz asked. Yami nodded.

"Yeah yeah, I got it, I got it…" he whimpered, holding his face in his hands. Dartz nodded.

"Yami…have you been hearing those voices anymore?" He asked. Yami looked up and shook his head. Dartz narrowed his eyes.

"Well…" Yami started. "I'm not hearing voice_s_ plural, but I am hearing _a_ voice, singular." He said.

"And what does this single voice tell you?" Dartz asked. Yami took a breath.

"4 score and seven years ago, our founding fathers dictated, that the Laker Girls cheerleading squad, needs to be taken down a peg!" He recited. Dartz sat back and folded his hands.

"I see."

**1: Oh look, it's 9 o'clock! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo…and if you think Yami is losing it now…ho boy, I'm not even half done ripping his sanity to shreds! Stay tuned as Yami's spiral into madness gets shorter and shorter!**


	6. Yami and Mai

Ryou Bakura, Film Maker

**Ladies and gentleman, prepare for Yami to lose what few shreds of sanity he ever had!**

Chapter 6

Yami and Mai

"Bakura, I was thinking about adding in some scenes." Joey said, holding out a stack of papers to Bakura.

"What kind of scenes?" Bakura asked.

"A few more scenes with Yami and Téa." Joey explained. Bakura swallowed. Uh-oh.

"We can't, that would require off-screen contact, and he doesn't want any." Bakura said.

"I know, but I think these new scenes, like the one where Téa pulls off her top, might really help boost viewer response." Joey said. Bakura rubbed his chin.

"I don't want anymore scenes with Yami, but I like the thing about Téa's top. Try and to write Yami out of that, but for now, we can't do any more scenes with him." Bakura's phone rang, and he picked it up. "Yeah?"

_"It's Malik. Yami just went up to the head office at Paradias, he'll be down any minute." _Malik said. Bakura nodded.

"Check, I'll be there." He said. He hung up. "Joey, tell Mai and Kaiba to get into costume, Yami wants to shoot the parking lot scene."

- - - - - - - - - -

Yami stepped off the elevator to the Paradias parking garage and walked to his car, whistling. He reached into his pocket for his keys as he walked down the row of cars, and slowed. There was another set of steps, following his own. Yami stopped, and waited as the footsteps stopped as well. Yami looked over his shoulder. Nothing. He frowned and looked forward.

"Pharaoh…" A voice whispered. Yami's eyes widened.

"Hey, who's there?" He called. No answer. He looked ahead, and after a moment, stepped forward, beginning his walk again. A moment later, the second set of steps started again as well. Yami froze and whirled around. Nothing. He gulped and turned to keep walking.

Had he stopped looking behind him, and looked behind the row of cars to his right, he might have seen a golden retriever wearing a pair of sandals. Rochelle sat patiently as Bakura sat on the edge of a Red Wagon. Behind him, Drake sat filming Yami over the cars. Luckily, the darkness of the garage helped them blend in. Yami started walking again, and at the front of the Wagon, Malik creeped forward on his haunches, pulling Bakura and Drake behind him. Bakura waved Rochelle forward, and she followed them, her sandals clopping on the asphalt. Drake watched as Yami stopped, and reached down to tap both Malik and Bakura on the shoulder. Malik stopped pulling, and Bakura held out a hand, beckoning Rochelle to stop.

"YAH!" Yami screamed, whirling around, hands up in a fighting stance. Nothing. Yami's eyes darted back and forth behind him. Yami growled and cracked his knuckles. He started walking.

"Fast." Bakura hissed. Malik pulled the wagon faster, and Rochelle started running to keep up. Yami looked behind him to see nothing, but hearing the footsteps. He gasped and looked forward, running.

"Keep it together, keep it together." He moaned, sprinting for his car. He literally leapt into the front seat and revved the car. A moment later, Yami broke the speed record for accelerating from a dead stop. The car screeched down the exit ramp.

"Cut" Bakura shouted. "Okay, let's get Mai and Kaiba out of make up and shoot part 2!"

- - - - - - - - - -

Once again, the cast and crew were in Bakura's living room, watching the edited film. Yami crept down the parking lot, slowing as he heard footsteps. The shot changed to show Mai in her Kisara outfit, hiding behind a car. Yami spun around and let out his scream.

"My god, he's amazing." Mai breathed. "His fear is so real, it's almost like he thinks he's really being stalked." Bakura nodded and fought to keep from grinning. Yami dashed to his car and drove away as Mai ran for him. Kaiba, clad in a blue and white armor with a golden ahnk on the chestplate **(1)**, appeared from behind a car and grabbed Mai from behind, wrapping a hand around her mouth. Mai reached out and screamed, the sound muffled, as Yami's car vanished.

"Bakura, can I talk to you." Mai said, pulling him aside. "Look, I respect Yami's work ethic. You know, no off set contact, only one take. But I've waited years to shoot with a big star, and now that I am, I want to meet him."

"No, you cannot meet him. Yami's very picky about who he talks to. I'm sorry, I wish you guys could meet him, but he says absolutely not." Bakura said. Mai nodded.

"Alright." She sighed.

-Sometime the Next Day-

Mai drove down Main Street, whistling in time to a song on her radio. She frowned and looked to the side of the street. Yami and his agent were walking into a clothing store. Mai looked ahead. Ryou said no off-screen contact with Yami, check. But…surely a little visit wouldn't hurt? Mai looked for a parking spot.

- - - - - - - - - -

Yami sat down on a sofa near the change rooms as Mai pretended to browse. Tristan came out of the change room wearing a dark blue suit. Yami nodded.

"Yeah, I like it. Turn." He said. Tristan turned around. "Nice. Turn back, do the thing." Tristan turned forward and held up a cardboard cutout of Yami's head over his face. Yami grinned. "Yeah, there it is. I'll look good in that. I'll take it." The clerk nodded.

"Perfect sir, if you have your measurements, we can have the suit ready on Friday." The clerk said. "And if possible, could we maybe take a few shots of you in the clothes, for advertising?"

"Sure, but it'll run ya a hundred bucks. Friday is fine, I'll pick it up at 4." Yami said. "Tristan, go give the guy my measurements." Tristan and the clerk walked into the back room. Mai watched them go, and swept around to face Yami.

"I'm sorry, I know you don't want to see me, but I have to talk to you." Mai said. Yami turned and gasped, jumping up.

"You again!" He muttered. Mai nodded.

"I just want you to know I think it's amazing, what you've done with the monsters. It was if your soul really is in danger." She gushed. "And, your reaction when Seth turned against you and took on dark magics was truly incredible." Yami backed up as Mai walked towards him. "At first I wasn't sure I could play the White Dragon, but now I'm enjoying it! You, you truly make the monsters come alive!" Mai gasped. "Oh, and, I want you to know that at first, I wasn't comfortable with them implying we had sex. But then Ryou told me that Téa is your confirmed love interest and that makes me glad, because I don't want either of us to look like idiots on screen, after all, a lot of people will watching. I'll leave now." Mai spun and briskly out of the store.

Yami stood, mouth open, eyes wide with terror, shaking to his shoes.

- - - - - - - - - -

The limo screeched to a halt in front of Yami's mansion, and Dartz climbed out followed by two lackeys carrying medical equipment.

"Where is he?" Dartz snapped as Tristan opened the door.

"In the grotto." Tristan said. Dartz nodded and marched past him.

- - - - - - - - - -

Yami's feets were shaking, his hands were being wrung over and over, his skin was deathly pale, and his eyes were wide. Electrodes on his forehead were monitoring his heart rate and brain waves.

"So…what did this woman want?" Dartz asked.

"My balls, she wanted my balls!" Yami shrieked. Dartz frowned as his heart rate shot up.

"Your…balls? You mean she wanted your testicles?" He asked. Yami nodded.

"Yeah yeah, ya see, what they do is they come and act like they wanna shake your hand, but they ain't! They drain your soul and steal your balls and mix them together so they can make a magic potion to conjure up monsters to steal more souls and more balls to conjure up more monsters." Yami explained. He groaned. "Keep it together, keep it together…I can't keep it together!" He wailed, slamming his head down on the table and sobbing. "I don't wanna die Dartz, I don't wanna die!" He cried. Dartz coughed lightly.

"Yami…I want you to come with me…to a place." Yami's head jerked up.

"What kinda place?" He snapped.

"A good place, a happy place. Remember happy, Yami, the 3 Happy Rules?" Dartz assured him. "It's a…special celebrity relaxing center, where you can be safe while we try and sort out this testicle-stealing woman you are so frightened of." Yami whimpered.

"I'd like that…I want that." He blurbled.

-3 Days Later-

"He's gone." Malik said. Bakura looked up from his desk.

"Huh?"

"Yami's gone, we can't find him." Malik explained.

"No, you just aren't looking. He's one of the most famous faces on the planet, he's not gone." Bakura insisted. Malik shook his head.

"We staked out his house, Paradias, everywhere. He's vanished, poof gone. It's Paradias, they're like a cult, they control him. That guy Dartz is brainwashin' him or something." Malik said. Bakura growled and stood up.

"Damn it, we can't shoot the film without the star!" He snapped. He thought for a moment. "Okay, there have to plenty of guys out there who look and sound like Yami."

"You mean violet eyes, spikey tri-colored hair and a superiority complex?" Malik asked dryly. Bakura glared.

"Not helping. Look, we find a couple of look-a-likes and sound-a-likes, we just use them for sound and long shots, we use Yami when he gets back. Go find some." Malik shrugged and turned. "And hey, Yami showed his ass in all of his last 4 films, and all of his last 4 films have been great hits, so we need a guy with a fabulous ass." Malik left his office, and Bakura ran to the doorway.

"And we're not using mine!" He called.

**1: Basically, Priest Seth's outfit.**


	7. Stunt Double

Ryou Bakura, Film Maker

**Honestly, with the last chapter implying a search for a Yami look-alike…who do you think finally comes in here?**

Chapter 7

Stunt Double

"What do you think?" Bakura asked, looking over the applicants. Malik raised an eyebrow.

"I think you're gonna turn me into a homosexual if you insist on my help." He replied. Bakura frowned.

"Why do you say that?" He asked. "Number 4, could you shake your hips a little?" In front of them stood 7 men all in a nice little row. All of them with their backs to Bakura and Malik. And all with their pants down. Bakura had decided to actually go through with the 'fabulous ass' comment. Malik grimaced as Number 4 obeyed.

"You just did that to annoy me, didn't you?" He muttered. Bakura grinned.

"Yes, yes I did." He chuckled.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I, um, took drama in high school…I got good marks, B's, mostly, and an A in my senior year." The last applicant stuttered. "I, uh, took part, in the school productions. Usually as an extra, often as a, well a stage hand, or an assistant. I ran lighting during a rehearsal, when a crew called in sick." Bakura nodded. So far, despite the little stutter, this guy was the most qualified for the job. He had the tri-colored hair, the violet eyes. His voice was a little higher than Yami's, but other than that…

"Can you speak in a lower voice?" Bakura asked. The applicant shrugged.

"Well, I uh, could try. Hold on, uh…" The applicant cleared his throat and coughed. "How's this?" He asked. Bakura was stunned. It was dead-on Yami!

"Great, that's great. Um…is your hair color natural?" He asked. The applicant nodded.

"Yeah, it uh, is natural. It's a family trait, my father had blonde hair, my mother had brunette…the red came from my grandmother on my father's side." He explained. Bakura nodded.

"Do you have any past experience with films?" He asked. The applicant nodded.

"Oh yes, I have quite a bit of experience, actually. I've worked, at Blockbuster, and I am a current member of their rewards club. I have an extensive movie collection, around…100 movies, VHS and DVD." He explained.

"Would you be willing to style your hair?" Bakura asked. The applicant winced.

"Well…I guess so, but I'd really prefer it if someone else did it. I've had some…accidents." He said. Bakura nodded again.

"Alright then…in addition to being a stunt double, would you also be willing to run errands for us?" He said. The applicant shrugged.

"Well…sure I guess. I mean, honest work and all."

"One final question." Bakura finished. "In addition to being a stunt double and running errands, would you be willing to show your naked rear end on camera?" The applicant blushed and giggled.

"Well…yeah, I guess so." He muttered. Bakura grinned. Malik cleared his throat.

"Could you step into the other room for a moment?" He asked, pointing to the living room. The applicant nodded and left the office. As he closed the door behind him, Malik glared at Bakura. "Damn Ryou, are you serious? You want _him_?"

"Look at him, he could be Yami's brother for crying out loud!" Bakura protested. "We just need his hair in the points, and he's practically his twin."

"Ryou, he stutters, he's dense, he's uneducated…" Malik listed.

"He's perfect. Honestly, yeah, he's a little on the duh side, but hey! With what we're trying to pull off here, do you really want someone competent?" Malik thought about that, than nodded.

"Yeah, good point." He admitted.

"And as a bonus, now that we have a guy who we don't have to con, we can run those new scenes Joey wrote." Bakura explained. Malik smiled.

"Then I guess he's it." He said. Bakura stood and opened his office door.

"Excuse me, what's your name again?" He asked. The applicant looked up from the sofa.

"Uh, Yugi." He replied. Bakura walked to the couch and shook Yugi's hand.

"Congratulations Yugi, You're now Yami Muto's official stunt double."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Okay, first of the new scenes." Bakura cheered. The crew was assembled at a freeway just outside of town, at the edge of the road. "Yugi!" Yugi emerged from the back of Malik's van wearing a black T-shirt and black jeans. "Good, you're in costume." Bakura sighed.

"Yeah, but I feel a little weird. These clothes aren't really me." Yugi protested.

"You're fine, you great, like an action star. You look tough." Bakura assured him. "This is Téa, she's the woman you'll be working with the most." Téa and Bakura shook hands. "Okay Yugi. In this scene, you're confused. You don't understand what's happening and why it's happening to you, but you feel in your gut that you can trust this woman. You're confused and want to know what's happening, so you run to her for answers. Okay?"

"Sure, alright." Yugi nodded.

"Good, I'm glad you're willing to do this, because you're running to her from across the freeway." Bakura said. Yugi blinked.

"Huh? You mean across traffic?" He asked. Bakura nodded.

"Exactly." He brightly.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Yugi asked, scratching his head.

"Oh no, we have stunt drivers doing the driving, you may get close, but you won't get hit." Bakura assured him. Yugi bit his lip.

"Okay, I'll go."

- - - - - - - - - -

Yugi stood wide-eyed and shaking, plastered firmly against the wall at the other side of the freeway. Opposite him, Bakura was talking to crew.

"Hey Drake, how's that robot coming?" He asked. Drake shrugged.

"Meh, it's okay. The teach was real easy to con. We got the metal and we're weldin' it when we have time. Don't worry, it'll be ready for the final scene." He assured him. Bakura nodded and looked up.

"Okay, it looks like Yugi is ready to wet himself, so let's go." Drake turned on the camera, and Bakura held his hand up, then pulled it down. "ACTION!" He yelled. Yugi shook his head and remained still. Bakura groaned and waved him forward. Yugi gulped.

"C'mon." Bakura urged quietly. Finally, Yugi broke away and dashed across the freeway. He stopped short a few times as cars nearly sideswiped him, honking their horns. Finally, he made it across and fell to the ground.

"OHMYGAWDOHMYGAWD!" Yugi wailed.

"Yugi, that was amazing!" Bakura cheered. Yugi gulped.

"R…really?" He sobbed, getting to his feet.

"Yes, not people would dare do that, even with stunt drivers! Incredible!" Bakura insisted. "Now, we need you to run an errand. We need you to go to Starbucks and grab some coffee. It's a big order, and you're just the man to do it."

"I'd like that." Yugi whispered. "I'd like to get coffee, I'd like that."

"Good." Bakura said. "But first, Drake forgot to put film in the camera, so we need to do this again, okay?" Bakura said, clapping. Yugi's jaw dropped.

- - - - - - - - - -

Malik drove the crew back to the house, while Bakura sat in the passenger's seat with his lunchbox of cash.

"Malik…we have a problem." Bakura muttered. Malik looked over, and Bakura opened his lunchbox and held it upside down. Four bills floated out. "I've blown a lot of money on the actual actors working for us, not to mention film and sound equipment."

"So what do we do? We're only about half-done." Malik reminded him. Bakura nodded.

"I know, I know. I just need another…" Bakura ran some quick figures. "Never mind. God, I need a miracle." The van pulled up in front of Bakura's house, and the gang jumped out and walked inside. As they neared, Téa stopped.

"Hold on a sec, I forgot my purse in the van." She said, turning.

"Go inside and watch the film, I'll get it for you." Bakura assured her. Téa nodded and followed Malik inside. Bakura opened the van rear doors and spotted the purse inside. He pulled it out and cursed as it fell on its side, the contents spilling out. Bakura picked up the purse and started replacing the contents. Nothing a golden glint, Bakura picked it up. He whistled. A Visa GOLD. Bakura leaned back to make sure no one was coming back out, and slipped the credit card into his pants pocket. Then he picked up Téa's things and entered the house.

"Thanks." Téa said, taking her purse.

"So what's the plan for our finances?" Malik whispered as Bakura covered. Bakura shrugged.

"Don't worry. I took care of it."


	8. Yugi and Yami

Ryou Bakura, Film Maker

**After this,3 chappies left!**

Chapter 8

Yugi and Yami

"Okay, get those lights ready." Bakura said, clapping. Thanks to Téa's generous donation of funds, Bakura could happily afford real equipment.

"I'm here." Téa said, running in wearing a pink jacket and pink shorts. The jacket was buttoned tightly.

"Okay, Yugi's already here, let's go." He said, leading Téa to the fireplace, where Yugi was waiting. "Okay Yugi, this is one of the romantic scenes, with heat and chemistry, k? So make it real, make it good, and above all, be sensitive and polite, because Téa's going to take off her jacket." Yugi furrowed his brow as Bakura crossed to behind the camera.

"With all due respect Mr. Bakura, I don't think that's a big deal." Yugi said.

"Well it is a big deal, because she's wearing nothing under it." Bakura explained. Yugi's eyes widened.

"Huh?" He squeaked.

"Okay, marker…sound…" Bakura said. Téa reached down and unbuttoned all but one button on her jacket and took a breath. "And…action!" Bakura said. Téa stared into Yugi's eyes.

"Atemu…please, I know you don't remember me…what we had." She whispered. "But I still love you, and I need you. Need you…now." Téa bit her lip and undid the last button, shrugging her jacket off to the floor. Yugi just stared down for a moment before turning to Bakura.

"They're…they're beautiful." He whispered. Bakura nodded and hung his head.

"And…cut." He muttered.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Hey Ryou, how's this?" Joey asked. He was wearing an odd pair of glasses with a long electrical cable connected to a buzzer in his hand. Joey pushed the buzzer, and the glasses lit his eyes up in a blue glow. "I just need to attach the mask parts to hide the harness, Whadda ya thin? Drake called and said they've welded the 'bot together, they just need to wire up the lighting and test the sound. Isn't it great? We can shoot the final scene in a few days!" Joey cheered. Bakura nodded half-heartedly. Joey frowned and slowly walked into the living room where the gang was sitting. "What's with him?" He asked, sitting down.

"Yami still has to do the meeting with Seth, and we still can't get a hold of him." Malik explained, covering for his friend. Mai looked at the calendar. Hm…it was Friday.

"I know where Yami is going to be at 4 this afternoon." She said. Bakura suddenly appeared in the door of his office.

"Where?" He asked. Mai smiled.

"He's going to be at Youko and Kitsune at 4 to pick up a suit." She said sweetly. Bakura nodded.

"Check, let's roll."

-Across the Street from Youko and Kitsune Clothier-

-3:55 PM-

"Check, is the wire ready? Sound mike planted?" Bakura asked, looking out the window for Yami. This time, rather than use the van and risk Yami noticing, they were hiding out in a small diner across the street.

"Yup." Malik replied, setting up the camera.

"Téa, Yugi and Kaiba in costume?" Bakura continued.

"Check, Yugi's putting on the harness." Malik confirmed. Bakura looked out the window and pulled out his walkie talkies.

"Yugi, get ready to dive, you're on in 1." He said, watching Yami's car drive down the street. "Remember, just sweep him off and make sure he stays away for the shot, don't hurt him." Bakura picked up the second walkie-talkie. "Kaiba, Téa, standby for cue." He said. Yami parked and got out with Tristan. "Action!" He hissed.

"Man, I feel so much better now." Yami sighed, smiling. "That time with Dartz really helped." He said, walking forward with Tristan behind him. Bakura looked out the window to see Yugi wearing a suit of bony armor with a black cape **(1)**.

"Go Yugi!" Bakura ordered. Yugi nodded and dove forward, the harness around his waist and the zip wire leading to the ground holding him.

"Dartz is right, there's no magic." Yami continued. "I'm sure it was all in my head." Tristan started to reply, and was cut off as Yugi caught him in the chest.

"Whoa!" Tristan cried, Yugi's momentum pulling him into the bushes. Yami frowned.

"Whoa?" He asked, turning. "Tristan? Hey Tristan!" He called. He shrugged and turned back to meet a blue chestplate. "Hey now, what's the deal?" Yami muttered.

"You thought you could escape me?" Kaiba sneered, pushing Yami to the ground.

"Hey!" Yami cried, getting up.

"5000 years and thousands of miles won't erase what you've done, Atemu." Kaiba sneered, reaching into his waistband. "I let you live all those centuries ago, and now I'll fix that, by doing what I should have done and sealing your soul in the Shadow Realm!" Yami stumbled back.

"Hey, back off, no-no on the soul-sealing!" He yelled. Téa ran on screen and flung her arms around him.

"My Pharaoh, thank the Gods I have found you!" She cried.

"Get out of the way Anzu, this is between me and Atemu!" Kaiba snapped. Téa spun around.

"Seth, this vendetta is pointless, he doesn't remember you!" She pleaded. Kaiba pulled a short, golden scepter from his waistband.

"And once his soul is trapped in darkness, he'll forget everything else!" Kaiba roared, holding the scepter in the air. He pushed a hidden button on the staff, and an eye-symbol on the tip of the scepter glowed. "Prepare for an eternity of misery!" Kaiba snarled, flinging the staff out. Téa grabbed his hand and wrestled the scepter from him before pushing him to the wall. She pushed the button for the glow, and Kaiba pretended to struggle to move.

"Run Atemu, I cannot hold him!" Téa pleaded. Yami nodded and bolted across the street.

"You cannot escape me Atemu!" Kaiba roared. Yami continued running.

"He's running, he's running…" Bakura said to himself. Then he gasped. "SHIT! He's running towards us, he's coming here!" He thought fast. "Quick, swing to Mai and Drake!" Bakura urged. Malik swung to film the crew members playing poker in the corner with Joey behind Mai, just as Yami flung open the door and rushed in the diner. "CUT!" Bakura yelled, grabbing Yami's attention. Mai, Joey and Drake looked up.

"Joey, you've gotta do better than that!" Bakura moaned. "Mai is betting your engagement ring, the symbol of your love, in a poker game with her ex-boyfriend, how does that make you feel?" Joey raised an eyebrow.

"Huh? You two dated?" He asked, looking down at Mai and Drake. Both shook their heads.

"C'mon, he's like, ten years my junior." Mai scoffed.

"And I could do way better." Drake added. Mai shot him a dirty look. Bakura pretended to notice Yami.

"Oh hi! Malik, look who it is!" He said, turning Malik- and the camera- to Yami. "We're shooting a movie here it's called uh, um….'For the Love of the Game'. Can we help you?" He asked. Yami gulped.

"You gotta run, there are some weird-ass people around here…" He panted. He looked out the window and pointed at Kaiba marching across the street. "Shit!" Yami spun and dashed out the back.

"Go go!" Bakura hissed, running after him with Malik in tow. Yami dashed into the alleyway and tore down it at light speed, vanishing around the corner. Kaiba growled and held his scepter into the air.

"This isn't over Atemu!" He roared.

"And CUT!" Bakura cheered. He took a breath and smiled as the gang all assembled in the alley, even Yugi.

"Guys, we have one final scene." Bakura whispered. "This is it!" The gang cheered.

- - - - - - - - - -

The gang was now sitting in Bakura's home, enjoying a dinner of various ordered-in places.

"Téa, the lovely Anzu, let's hear it for her!" Bakura cheered. The gang clapped. "Kaiba, the ruthless and cunning High Priest Seth!" The gang clapped again. "Mai, the peasant Kisara and the holder of the White Dragon!" Mai rolled her eyes. "And of course, Yugi, Yami's official stunt double!" Bakura slapped a high-five with Yugi across the table.

"Well…thanks." Yugi muttered.

"What's wrong?" Bakura asked, noticing a low tone. Yugi shrugged.

"I fell kinda weird here…you know, my only contribution is looking like Yami. I like the errand running, I actually _do_ something. You know, I get the coffee, order it, pay for it, I get the cream and all that. But a stunt double, all I do is look like someone. What is that?"

"That's a gift!" Bakura encouraged. "You're a spitting image of Yami Muto, that's a gift! How many other people can do that? That's amazing." Yugi grinned sheepishly as Bakura ate a spoonful of rice.

"Well it's not _that_ great a gift. C'mon, I _am_ his brother." He muttered. Bakura's eyes bulged, and he turned to cough, choking on his rice. "But that's why I enjoy working here. All my life, people just see me as Yami's little bro. It's nice to be my own person."

"You mean people have used you as a way to get to Yami?" Mai asked. Yugi nodded.

"Yeah, it isn't easy being related to a star. I mean, my parents are always gushing over how great he is, it's hard living in his shadow. You know he hasn't been home for Christmas in two years? He's always off filming something."

"That is so sad." Téa muttered, shaking her head.

"Yeah, that's another great thing, I get to work with him on this." Yugi said. "I really love you guys, you've all been so great to me. Especially you Mr. Bakura. It's nice to be working on account of my own talent, and not just the fact I'm Yami's brother." Bakura nodded wearily and played with his rice.

- - - - - - - - - -

"I can't believe this." Bakura muttered. It was late, and everyone had gone home, save for Malik who was in Bakura's office.

"What? That you have the brother of the world's hottest action star in your pocket? That you can find out where Yami will be anytime, anywhere?"

"All that, and that I have a conscience." Bakura grumbled. "I could exploit him, I could use him to get to Yami, but damn it! He said he loves us, Malik! How can I betray that?" Malik was about to answer when the phone rang. Bakura sighed and picked it up.

"Yeah?" he asked.

_"Mr. Bakura, its Yugi." _The caller said. Bakura sat up. _"I heard Mai tell ya where Yami was today, and with the final scene and all, you might wanna know this. Yami is heading out to Paradias at 3 pm on Monday." _Bakura nodded.

"Okay, thanks." He said. He hung up. "That was Yugi. Yami is heading to Paradias on Monday at 3." Malik shrugged.

"So?" Bakura thought.

"I won't exploit Yugi like that. But, he told me that of his own free will." Bakura grinned. "I'm calling Drake to get that robot ready by Monday. We're shooting the final scene!"

**1: Lord of Dragons, in other words.**


	9. Final Scene

Ryou Bakura, Film Maker

Chapter 9

Last Scene

"Okay, if he has any trouble, tell me where he's going." Dartz said on the phone to Tristan. "I have a hunch that there's something going on here." Tristan nodded and quickly hung up his cell phone as Yami walked to his car.

"Okay." Yami said. "Let's go."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Let's go!" Bakura urged, hurrying everyone. "Drake, that robot ready?" Drake nodded. "Good! Everyone knows where they should be, go to it! Téa, a minute." Bakura pulled Téa aside.

"Yes?" Téa asked.

"Now Téa, when you pull Yami into the car, remember, you're supposed to explain these things to him. You know, Seth, Atemu, the White Dragon. He doesn't understand it all because…"

"Because he doesn't know he's in the movie." Téa finished.

"Right…what?" Bakura did a double take.

"Yeah…I know. I'm not stupid Ryou." Téa said. "Hey, it's okay. I haven't told anyone else."

"Why not?" Bakura asked, confused.

"Ryou, this has been your dream. No one would ruin this. I've seen you and everyone work so hard. I'm not going to throw that away." Téa explained. "Anyway, I'll fill him in so he goes along with it, okay?" Bakura grinned. This was really gonna work!

"Okay, let's roll!"

- - - - - - - - -

"Malik?" A crew member asked. Malik was driving a large truck with a boomlift on the back out of the lot. Bakura sat next to Malik, while Drake waited in the lift with his camera. Several large tree-branches were in with him to conceal him.

"I'm just taking her out for a tune-up!" Malik said, driving past. Bakura took a breath.

"I told Kaiba, Joey and Yugi to head him off at James and Wilson." He said. "Mai and the crew are setting up the robot and the projector at the museum." Malik nodded.

"Okay. Time to shine."

- - - - - - - - -

"Action!" Bakura called out the back. The boomlift was running along a street to the right and above of the street Yami was driving on. "Kaiba's to head him off any minute…" Suddenly, a car swerved around a corner and started driving straight towards Yami's car. Yami slammed the breaks.

"SHIT!" He yelled, hitting reverse. The car drove backwards as the car in front followed them.

"Reverse!" Bakura hissed. Malik hit reverse and started to trail them.

"Take the wheel." Kaiba said, climbing into the middle of the car. Joey moved over and took over, the front window tinted to hide the action. Kaiba climbed out the sunroof and slowly stood to stand on the hood of the moving vehicle, his white cloak fluttering in the breeze.

"IT'S HIM!" Yami screamed, recognizing Kaiba.

"Dear god, please don't let me die." Kaiba said to himself. He held up his scepter again and pressed the glow button. On the truck behind the car, Yugi was once again in his caped costume. He climbed up to kneel beside Kaiba.

"Lord of Dragons, destroy the Pharaoh!" Kaiba ordered. Yugi jumped onto the hood of the car and braced himself to jump onto Yami's hood.

"Oh no!" Yami yelled. A car screeched from a side street, and Téa swerved to intercept. Yugi fell back, and Kaiba glared angrily before leaping back in the sunroof. That done, Yugi held on as Joey spun around and drove away. Téa leapt out of her car and opened Yami's door.

"Atemu, thank the Gods!" She yelled, pulling him out. "Please do not fear me, I am here to help you!"

"What's going on?" Yami demanded.

"You're the Pharaoh Atemu. You erased your memories, but you must remember! Come, Seth has Kisara, he's holding her at the museum!" Yami looked at Tristan.

"I'm Pharaoh Atemu?" He asked. Tristan shrugged.

"Come, I'll explain on the way!" Téa said, pulling Yami into the car.

"If I'm Atemu, who are you?" Yami asked as Téa started to drive.

"I'm your wife Anzu." Téa explained. Yami looked Téa over.

"Okay, this isn't so bad I suppose."

"Go!" Bakura said. "We've got to get to the museum and set up!" The boomlife roared down the street as Téa took the long, scenic route to the Domino Museum. Left alone, Tristan flipped open his cell phone and dialed.

"Yeah?" Dartz answered.

"Tristan. He's heading to the museum. Some woman picked him up, said he was a Pharaoh." Dartz smiled on the other end.

"Roger. I'll be there."

- - - - - - - - - -

"Camera!" Bakura said. He, Malik, Drake, Joey, Yugi, Kaiba and Mai were all on the roof of the Domino Museum as night fell. "Téa will take him up that fire escape!" Bakura said, setting a sound mike behind a rock. "Drake, you and the crew ready with that robot?" Bakura called. A mechanical roar answered him. "Okay, good. Mai, get that mask on. Places everyone!" Bakura looked over the courtyard and pointed. "They're here, hurry!" He hissed. Everyone vanished as Bakura and Malik raced up a set of stone steps to a platform above the area for the final showdown.

"Seth thinks Kisara's soul contains a powerful White Dragon, and he plans to use it to seize your power as Pharaoh! He has her and will extract her Kaa to use as a beast of destruction!" Téa explained, running to the fire escape with Yami. "We must destroy the Dragon!" They reached the roof and ran to near Bakura and Malik.

"Halt!" Kaiba snapped, stepping from the shadows. Téa and Yami screeched to a halt. "You are both too late!" Kaiba laughed. Yugi, dressed as Lord of Dragons, stepped out holding Mai in her Kisara outfit, tossing Mai to Kaiba, who raised his scepter to hold Mai by the throat. "Once my Lord of Dragons calls her Kaa out, I will control the strongest creature in the world, and you shall suffer an eternity in the Shadow Realm!" Kaiba turned to Yugi. "Now Lord of Dragons, prepare yourself!" Yugi held up his hands as Kaiba made the scepter glow. "Millennium Rod, capture her Kaa!" Seth ordered. Mai reached up to Kaiba's wrist. Actually, she reached up to the little switch strapped to her shoulder. She flipped it, and Joey's prop activated. The glasses hidden around Mai's eyes glowed blue, making her eyes take on the blue glow as well. Yami gapped and stepped back.

"No! Seth don't!" Téa pleaded. "Atemu, down!" Téa dove and pushed Yami to the ground, taking his gaze from Kaiba. Malik swung the camera to focus on Yami and Téa, and Kaiba released Mai. She ran to the wall behind them to hide, and Drake and a crew member wheeled out their creation. Yami and Téa stood up, and Yami turned.

"Holy shit!" He screamed. Standing behind Kaiba was a large blue dragon. It roared and swung its head in the air. Drake's crew had spent the last two weeks building it from metal and spraying painting it silver-blue. Inside, Drake pressed the sound button to activate the roar again. He was pedaling the dragon forward with a pair of wheels hidden in its feet. His one hand was up its neck to move it. Drake peered out through the narrow slit he had for vision.

"Wing action Dax!" He hissed. Behind him, Dax pulled the cords to flap the dragon's wings. Kaiba laughed.

"Now Atemu, prepare for destruction! Blue Eyes White Dragon, destroy him!" Drake pressed the roar button again.

"Pharaoh!" Yami spun around as Joey, dressed in a purple cloak with a long, green staff, jumped down in front of him.

"Mahad!" Kaiba snarled. "It matters not, destroy him!" Drake leaned the dragon's neck forward, and Joey caught it with his staff.

"Pharaoh…I shall die before I let you fall…" Joey grunted.

"You can defeat him!" Tea urged. Yami stared.

"How?" He asked.

"Just shout 'go to hell old friend'!" She said. Bakura pumped his fist above.

"Yes. Just one shot, c'mon!" He pleaded.

"Enough!" Kaiba roared. "Blue Eyes, destroy Mahad with White Lightning!" Inside, Drake moved his hand in the neck to hold down another button. Blue lights lit up the dragon's mouth in a blue glow.

"Pharaoh!" Joey cried.

"Just say it!" Téa urged.

"G…go…" Yami stammered, stepping back.

"Come on, come on! Say it! Just one line and we can finish it!" Bakura hissed.

"Go…go…" Yami stopped stammering and looked up. Téa followed his gaze and gasped. 3 helicopters were flying through the sky, slowing to a stop. Bakura let out a breath. Oh no…the Paradias logo was on the side. A ladder lowered from one, and Dartz slid to the ground in front of Bakura.

"Well well well…" Dartz chuckled, crossing his arms. "What do you know, sometimes the paranoid _are_ being stalked!" Bakura glared.

"I'll have you know I never did anything to deceive Yami or to damage his mentality, he agreed to do this movie of his own free will!" He snapped.

"Hey Dartz!" Bakura and Dartz looked down at Yami, who was waving eagerly. "I'm the Pharaoh Atemu! I saved the world from an ancient sorcerer!" He said happily. Dartz gave Bakura a cocky look. Bakura hung his head.

"You're not happy, are you?" He asked. Dartz laughed and threw an arm around his shoulder.

"Oh my friend…all the shovels in the world won't be able to dig you out of the pile of shit I'm going to bury you in." He snarled. Bakura nodded.

"Yeah…thought so."

**My next story…is a big one!**

**Legend of the Dragon Lord**

**A Mega-Crossover of Pokemon, Digimon, Yugioh and Inuyasha, in that order.**

**1000 years ago, a powerful sorcerer known as the Dragon Lord nearly conquered the world. However, a brave warrior of unknown name sealed him away. The Dragon Lord's soul was sealed in a red gemstone, and his powers in a green jade amulet, both a half of an amulet the Dragon Lord wore. According to myth, if the two parts should be reunited, the Dragon Lord would be reborn. The two parts were scattered across the world, and this is how they should have remained, forever out of the other's reach. Unfortunately, fate has other ideas…**


	10. At Long Last

Ryou Bakura, Film Maker 

**Last chappie! Will poor Ryou FINALLY get his movie? Can Yami's sanity be salvaged? And what's next? Read on as my extra-along final chappie begins! **

Chapter 10 

At Long Last 

"I can't believe this." Kaiba growled. He, Téa, Joey, Malik, and Mai were all sitting in Bakura's living room. Bakura himself was hiding from them in his locked office. "I turned down a role as a cameo in an Affleck movie. An _Affleck _movie! I could have shared camera space with Ben! And now I have nothing!"

"I have a sister and a father to provide for!" Joey shouted. "I quit both my jobs to do this? Now what do I do?"

"You could apply to get your jobs back." Mai offered, sitting beside him.

"Heh. Not the way I quit." Joey said.

"I showed my breasts on film." Téa grumbled from the other side of Joey. "And for what? Nothing, I went nude on camera and got nothing for it."

"Yeah, which reminds me." Joey mused. "Malik, what happened to that footage?"

WHAM

Joey found himself kissing the rug. Téa rubbed her hand and glared.

"I gave up a Cats tour for this film, and Ryou pulls a stunt like this?" Mai muttered.

"I say we sue his ass off." Kaiba snapped. "C'mon, he duped all of us!"

"Well…not all of us…" Malik said to himself. Kaiba's head snapped around.

"You _knew_?" He asked.

"Well…yeah." Malik admitted. "Look, it sounded good. Anyway, you won't be getting much money out of him, Ryou blew his life savings on this. By the way, Téa." Malik reached into his pocket and flipped Téa her Visa. Téa caught it.

"Where did you find this?" She asked.

"Remember how a while ago, Ryou suddenly got better equipment?" Téa's jaw dropped. "Yeah."

"I'm gonna castrate him." She growled.

"Go ahead, I'm killing him." Kaiba said.

"You'll kill him after I kill him!" Joey corrected. Then, the office door swung open, and five pairs of eyes whirled to glare holes in the man walking across the living room. Bakura walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the fridge before walking back to stand in the doorway.

"It could have worked." He grumbled, popping the cap of his beer.

"Open or closed coffin, Bakura?" Joey asked.

"Closed, with what I've got planned." Téa said. Then, the front door opened, Drake and the crew walking in.

"Where do you want this?" Drake asked, holding up a cassette. Bakura frowned.

"What is it?" He asked.

"I had Drake and the crew follow Yami and get some extra shots on their own time." Malik explained. "Ya never know, it could have come in handy."

"The trash is on the curb." Bakura snapped.

"Hold on, let's take a look." Malik said.

"Why bother?" Bakura muttered, taking a sip of his beer. "We need Yami's permission to show any footage of him to the public, and with Dartz controlling him, that ain't gonna happen."

"Well I wanna look." Malik said. "What could it hurt?"

- - - - - - - - - -

"This is moronic." Bakura muttered. He pointed to the shot of Yami slapping a tennis racket at a ball. "That is perfect, a reincarnated Egyptian Pharaoh who plays tennis." He snorted. The screen went to static, then switched to Yami sitting at the sidelines of a basketball game. "I remember this one, Lakers vs. the Celtics, right?" Bakura asked. Drake nodded as the screen went to static again, then revealed Yami in a closed brown trenchcoat under the bleachers. It was empty, so it was probably after the game.

"What's he doing?" Bakura asked. As Bakura watched the next few moments of the film, there was a rustling of paper, a few giggles, and then a lot of laughter. An evil grin slid across Bakura's face.

"I think we just got permission." He snickered.

- - - - - - - - - -

Bakura and the gang were assembled in Dartz's office, with a television and VCR set up on a tray. Dartz sat and glared at the footage.

Yami looked around under the bleachers before pulling a paper bag over his head. Then, the camera panned out to show a gaggle of the Laker Girls walking across the court, gossiping. Yami stepped out from the bleachers.

"Hey Laker Girls!" He called. The cheerleaders turned around, and Yami held open his coat. One by one, the Laker Girls pointed and burst out laughing. Yami tugged the coat closed. "It's not funny!" He snapped, stomping away. The shot ended, and Bakura reached to turn the VCR off. Dartz stared at him.

"You realize, of course, that there isn't a jury in the country that wouldn't consider this blackmail." Dartz growled after a moment of silence.

"Hey, I'm just a guy, I don't know a thing about blackmail." Bakura defended. "I'm just a normal guy with an awesome film in the can, and all I need to wrap it up is a shot of Yami shouting 'Go to hell old friend', and maybe a few close-ups for the advertisements. Or, I can wrap it up with a story of how Atemu defeats Seth by waving his Little Pharaoh at the Laker Girls." Bakura chuckled as Dartz's nostrils flared.

"And don't get me wrong, I like that ending, I'm willing to bet there's a lot of people who would pay good money to see that." Bakura continued. "But career wise, it _isn't_ a good ending for Yami, because it may just jeopardize that pediatrician role he's filming now, and overall just make his career just kinda go…ft." Bakura shrugged and sat back.

"I'll…have to think about it." Dartz said slowly. "I mean…I'll have to think about it…for Yami." Bakura nodded.

"Okay…I respect that." He said. He waited for a moment, then perked up with a grin. "So, now that you and your friends here at Para-dick, er, Paradias, have thought about it…whadda ya think?" Bakura asked. Dartz crossed his arms and tapped a finger against his shoulder, staring at Bakura angrily.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Your hand madam." Joey said with a sweeping bow. Mai rolled her eyes and pushed Joey's hand away to climb out of the limo herself.

"It's Mahad and Kisara!" A reported called. The cameras along the red carpet flashed as the two stars walked into the cinema showing the premiere of Yami Muto's latest film _'Yugioh, King of Games'. _Next, Malik and Drake stepped out, and the cameras stopped.

"We're in charge of film and editing." Malik explained. A few cameras flashed, and the two half-hearted walked down the isle. Then came the next person from the limo emerged.

"It's Seth!" A reporter screamed. Kaiba shielded his eyes from the blinding flashes and smiled slightly as an eager fan asked him for an autograph. Finally, the final two people emerged from the limo.

"Happy?" Téa asked as she escorted Bakura down the red carpet. Bakura smiled.

"No." He admitted, waving to a camera. "I'm ecstatic. This is what I've been waiting my whole life for." Then a second limo pulled to the curb, and Bakura and Téa turned to see Yami and Yugi step out. Yugi grinned and ran up to shake Bakura's hand. Bakura did so, but his kept his eyes on Yami as the star walked up to him and crossed his arms.

"You really know how to pull one." Yami muttered. Bakura shrugged.

"What can I say, I'm good." He said. Yami smiled.

"Yeah, I can't argue that." He admitted, shaking Bakura's hand. "C'mon, we've got a movie to watch!" He said, walking past him into the theatre. Bakura nodded and led Téa and Yugi inside.

Yami led them down the isle, past the waiting cast members, and choose a row of seat in the middle. Bakura went to follow him, and an usher put a hand out.

"Sorry sir, these seats are reserved." He said.

"Screw the reservations." Yami called. The usher turned. "That guy is my man. Let 'em threw." He scolded. The usher nodded, confused, and Bakura and company moved down the row to sit beside Yami.

"I'm your man now?" Bakura asked. Yami shrugged.

"Yeah, provided you don't pull any shit like this again." He muttered. Bakura smiled.

"Well, Joey mentioned something about a 'Yugioh GX'…"

"Not happening."

"Right, not happening." Bakura agreed. The lights went down, and Bakura watched as a spinning pyramid came out screen as the title flashed out of a purple cloud. After that…he spent the next two hours in a haze.

- - - - - - - - - -

"_Pharaoh…" _a voice whispered. Atemu spun around as Kisara hid behind a column, a look of terror in her eyes. Mai smiled proudly, even when Seth grabbed Kisara.

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Lord of Dragons, destroy the Pharaoh!" _Seth roared, commanding the creature. Kaiba and Yugi, who were sitting next to each other, turn and slapped a high five.

- - - - - - - - - -

_"NO! Seth, don't!" _Anzu pleaded. Téa smiled as Anzu pulled Atemu to the ground in a flash of light.

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Pharaoh…I shall die before I let you fall…" _Mahad gasped. Joey chuckled as the Dark Magician struggled against the Blue Eyes.

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Blue Eyes, destroy Mahad with White Lightning!" _As the dragon charged up the attack, Drake crossed his arms and grinned.

- - - - - - - - - -

_"Victory is mine Atemu!" _Seth laughed. Atemu growled and flung out a hand to point at the dragon, a look of fury on his face.

_"Go to hell, old friend!" _Atemu shouted. Mahad's staff glowed, and with a cry, he snapped the dragon's head back and slammed the glowing staff into its chest. The dragon began to glow, and Seth stared at it in horror.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" _He cried. The dragon exploded, and Seth was sent flying backwards, the Millennium Rod flying away into the night. Bakura watched as the final scene played out, the credits began to roll, and the lights went up.

And that was when the audience burst into applause. Joey jumped up in his seat and put his fingers in his mouth to whistles.

"YES, YES!" Yugi cheered, jumping in his seat. Téa stuck her arm up and pumped it as she stood up. Bakura just sat there.

"That.." He whispered. "That was my movie." He blinked. "That…was _my_ movie…" Then it sunk in, and Bakura grinned. "THAT WAS MY MOVIE!" He shouted, jumping up and throwing his hands up in the air.

"YES!" He cheered, laughing happily. A lot of people gave him odd looks, but he didn't care. That night in the theatre, no one cheered louder or longer, than Ryou Bakura.

- - - - - - - - - -

"My steel-shop teacher saw that film. He figured out what happened to all the steel I've been sneaking from class." Drake said to Joey. Everyone was celebrating at Bakura's house the next day.

"And?" Joey asked. Drake grinned.

"I got an A." He said happily. He slapped Joey a high-five.

"Hey guys!" Malik shouted, waving Téa's cell phone in the air. "Guess who's up for Playboy's next centerfold!" Téa elbowed him in the gut and snatched the phone away, blushing madly.

"The Canadian 'Spacy' awards are nominating me for Best Villain." Kaiba said to Mai.

"I know, I'm up for Best Damsel in Distress." She replied. A whistle tore through the festivities, and everyone turned to see Bakura in the doorway of his office, grinning.

"Party on!" He encouraged. The crew did so, and Bakura sat down at the window. He turned to set his drink on the sill, and froze. Bakura stared for a moment, the slowly got up. Driving down the street towards his house was a tri-colored truck. It slowed to a stop at the curb, and a man got out holding a package, walking towards the door of Bakura's home.

"FexEx." He whispered. The door swung open, and the FexEx deliveryman entered. Bakura pushed past Téa and Drake, and reached for it. Everyone watched as Bakura signed the charge slip and took the package. He ripped it open and pulled out a single strip of lined paper. He read it over and lowered it, his expression blank.

"What is it?" Malik asked finally. Bakura swallowed.

"It's an offer to go to Japan to shoot a film starring Yugi Muto, and any other actors I see fit to bring." He said. Everyone's eyes widened, and Bakura raised a hand in the air.

"We're going to Japan!" He shouted.

- - - - - **(the following scene is to the tune of 'Secret Agent Man')** - - - - -

_Ryou Bakura Productions Presents…… _

_Fake…Card…Ninjas… _

Inside a secret workshop in the Japanese wilderness, twelve dozen Japanese child laborers worked, producing fake trading cards to sell on the black market. One a raised platform overlooking the production, Joseph Augustus Wheeler III was counting stacks of yen.

"I love dirty money." Joey laughed. Mai Kujaku nodded and watched over the workers below, ordering a half-dozen armed enforcers to make sure they kept working.

"You won't get away with this!" Téa Gardner yelled from her place, tied to a beam nearby. "My Yugi will come for me." She declared. Joey looked at her and sneered.

"Will he? And what will he do?" He laughed. As he spoke, the large doors to the warehouse exploded as a large Jeep drove right through them. Joey and Mai jumped to their feet as Yugi stepped from the Jeep, two samurai swords in his hands. The children ran for cover as the six armed enforcers charged Yugi. Yugi threw down the swords and ran forward.

He spun and kicked one across the jaw, knocking him to the ground. Another dove for him, and Yugi caught his head to knee him in the nose. Another sliced a sword at Yugi, and he raised a printing-press from the card table to block it before punching out the man. He looked to the left and grinned.

"Yugi, no!" Malik hissed behind the camera. Yugi looked away and spin-kicked the fourth enforcer. The other two ran away as Yugi ran to the platform where Joey and Mai sat. Joey picked up a switchblade, and Yugi twisted to elbow Joey in the jaw before flipping him overhead onto the table, smashing it. Mai gasped and turned and ran through a hole in the wall. Yugi reached to pick up a coin, and an enforcer jumped behind him. Yugi turned and screamed, when a fist came out of nowhere, knocking out the guard. Yugi and Bakura glared at each other, then pulled their hands back…

And slapped a high-five.

"Long time no see, brother." Bakura smiled. Yugi winked. Then, Téa screamed, and the two brothers whirled. Dozens of armed, black ninjas began to descend from the ceiling, flip through the walls, and burst through the shattered warehouse doors. As the ninjas assembled at the end of the warehouse, Julius Kaiba, dress in a white kimono, stepped to the front of the ninjas and pointed a katana at Yugi and Bakura.

"Destroy them!" Kaiba roared. The ninjas cheered and ran forward. Yugi and Bakura looked at each other, nodded, and jumped into the fray.

**THE END **

**I DARE you all to read this chapter without cracking up! Anyhow, thanks for reading everyone! Ryou not only got his movie, but he gets a career! Let's give all of them a round of applause! **

**I'll have 'Yugioh-Men in Leather' up in a week or so. **

**Thanks for reading! **


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